remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize