im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
