and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
