Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Randomize
