i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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