Pants 0. Shit 1.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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