he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
