We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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