my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I deserve this hangover.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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