I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
