theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
