We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize