writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
