This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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