you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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