Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize