I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
