so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize