well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
