yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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