Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
