I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
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