Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
