BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
