this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
