found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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