Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
