I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
