Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
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