Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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