I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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