Me. At least after what I've been through.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
