It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you win again, gameday.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
