I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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