sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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