Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
