happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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