and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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