the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
