How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Randomize
