Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize