You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
