I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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