just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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