when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
