Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
We're too hungover to prance.
not ubering you a puppy
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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