I'm lost and stupid without you.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
