He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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