I should be sponsored by Trojan
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
