My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
