WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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