pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
