not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize