I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
3pm strippers are depressing
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
