True but thats because hes a fetus.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
These tits shall not be calmed
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
