dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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