meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize