So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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