no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
