How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
