I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
