My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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