Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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