is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
