yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
