were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
do herpes really smell.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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