I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Dicks are not precious.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
