I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
