fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
