I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
