Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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