shes about as inviting as chlamydia
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
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