The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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