This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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