Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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