I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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