so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
being pregnant is like rehab
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
