don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize